Sex and Video Games - Not to be Confused with Sex and the City
May 29, 2008 Author: aktrez | Filed under: Mature Content, Mature Gaming
We all think about it . We all do it (if you are old enough). It’s part of our daily lives and in all aspects of our media. So, why is it still so taboo!?
Jack Thompson would probably have a field day with this post, however, I feel it needs to be talked about. We are all adults (and if you aren’t and are reading this then you can go ahead and click that little red X in the top right of your screen!)
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Ok, children gone?
Let’s talk about sex.
Sex has been a part of our lives since the inception of man. If you are a bible follower you have been taught that Mary Magdalene was a sex servant. When we start dating someone, we are sexually attracted to them and want to be intimate and close. Sex is a normal, every day part of an adults life.
So many critics miss that point. They don’t understand that video games can also be a part of an adults life. Games are still seen as childrens toys and only created for the young or immature. Violent games are seen as “killing simulators” and sexually explicit games are seen as marketing to a generation who should not know what boobies look like until they get married.
At the same time, movies like American Beauty win Academy Awards. Music that talks about “My goodies” and licking a mans “Lollipop” are all over our radio and our 9 year olds are walking around singing “My Humps” and dressing up their sex pot Bratz dolls.
I feel that the problem lies in the fact that America is one of the last countries (aside from the middle east who are even farther behind than we are) that believe that sex and the human body are bad or dirty things.
If my history knowledge hasn’t failed me (and remember, it’s been 10 years since I was in history class so this very well could be the case) I believe we LEFT England because the Catholic church was taxing us, was too prude and wanted to control everything we did.
How is it now that Europe is so far ahead of us in regard to openness with sexuality?
I am sorry to say but this:
…. is hot! I mean, the female body is a beautiful thing. All of these photos are artistic and not dirty in any way. They all show girls who are fond of gaming. Let’s say they are all models (which we know is not true) who cares!? There has been YEARS of pin-up girls hanging on walls. Why not pin-up gamer girls? Why is being sexy bad? Is putting a controller in a woman’s hand, on her boobs or near her mouth considered a moral sin? It would seem to be OK if Scarlett Johanson did it!
I recently came across a very thought provoking video about sex and gaming. Check it out (below) and let’s start a discussion on your thoughts of sex in media.
UPDATE: I just came across the same video posted over at GameGirl.com and I wanted to share the link so that you can all participate in their discussions as well! Enjoy.
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35 Responses for "Sex and Video Games - Not to be Confused with Sex and the City"
I think it comes down to bad parenting. Parents don’t want to police their children to prevent them from being exposed to games with strong sexual or violent content. They ignore those helpful ESRB ratings and just let their kids play whatever they want. Or they don’t take the time to research a game or play it themselves before getting it for their child. Then the gaming industry is blamed because lazy parents believe companies should be held responsible and not themselves. In the end, the gaming industry in general is placed under unbelievable scrutiny, fueled by right-wing conservative groups, and forced to water down their games.
It isn’t even just the industry though. The community is very split when it comes to sexuality. For example, A girl is a gamer and poses with a controller in a sexy manner. This is bad. However, a character in a video game has her boobs spilling out and a Barbie doll figure. This is good. It’s just an interesting dynamic.
I’m surprised this video didn’t mention The Sims or Second Life (although, perhaps there’s more video to come, it did say teaser on it)
I don’t play SL, but I’m pretty sure you can have sex in the game, and there’s been controversy over it.
As for The Sims, the WooHoo cracks me up everytime.
The should add romance quests to WoW.
Yes, Mandy, you can. You can buy/download fully naked characters as well. The same goes for the IMVU chat. You can buy naked toons and also sexual poses. They just don’t advertise that. It’s something you find out when you do some poking (no pun intended) around.
Nice argument and video history lesson. The stigma is starting to change but it’s taking a long time.
First off, I wouldn’t say that there isn’t also a lot of blowback about sexualized music and television pop culture.
Having worked at both a record store and a video rental store I can say that I heard a lot of vitriol and concern from parents when it came to sexual content. I can defiantly tell you that most parents at the video store could care less about graphic violence…but god forbid you recommend a move for the family that has even the remotest sexual content.
The same can be said for the sort of virgin slut pop starlets of the late 90s. I remember several parents trying to return britney and christina albums that heir daughters had purchased because they didn’t approve of the message (such as it was).
having said that. I agree that the same attitude is present when it comes to the general publics view of video games.
but I think it’s amplified for three reasons:
1. The average member of “the public” may not be as familiar with video games as they are with other forms of media (hence the popular “What ever happened to Pac Man?” mantra)
2. The perception by the average member of “the public” that video games are “for kids”. I don’t need to belabor this…you all know the reality is that much like other media Games are enjoyed by all sorts of people old and young, and like other media there are games for kids and there are games that are obviously only for adults.
3. This is the big one, interactivity. I think that the general public is most uncomfortable with the idea that games let you “act out” some of these acts. Take the Mass Effect flap. It seemed like much of the criticism was phrased to emphasize the fact that the player could “choose” to do all this crazy sex. And that the player “takes part” in rape etc.
There is something about interactivity that makes people uncomfortable.
like it’s somehow less harmful for people to watch violent movies than it is for them to play violent games, because the interaction somehow trains or conditions them. The same goes for sex. I mean even I have to say that it’d be one thing to watch a movie about a sexually aggressive deviant than it would to actually play a game where I was behaving like a sexually aggressive deviant. Even if I know that I can tell the difference between right and wrong. the “free will” or “choice” aspect is a very powerful element of gaming that can not be underestimated.
In the end though it is basically our right to enjoy media that we pay for. If I want to play a bunch of deviant sex sims…or even if I just want to play a game that has mature themes of romance and love…then I have a right to do so without being legislated and persecuted for doing so.
Here’s are the main reasons why the media and the ignorant conservative right will never accept violence and sex in video games.
When Video Games started. They were a phenomenon or fad if you will. That was accept by the young and old. When Pac-Man was out everyone who was anyone was playing video games. It was the thing to do. After a while the fad died down like the hula hoop. It was cute while it lasted then and life went on.
Then Nintendo comes along with the NES which was the big Christmas toy for 1988, like the Cabbage Patch doll years earlier. 20/20 ran a story that year on the NES and interviewed children on why they liked the NES so much. From cartoons to cereal ads. From this point on forever and ever ingrained in the mind of adults. Video Games meant children.
These igorant adults are stuck in that mindset and you can’t break them free from that line of thought. The only possible way to sway them is to stop calling Video Games, Video GAMES. As long was the word GAMES is in Video Games. It’ll be pointless to argue and debate with these ignorant fools about whether or not there should be Violence or Sex in Video Games.
I think the problem is deeper rooted than just sex. It stems from a lack of tolerance in this country… Ironic being how that’s how it was founded. Lack of tolerance unfortunately beds with lack of freedom.
More and more laws are created which work to take rights away from individuals rather than granting them the ones they are due. People now a days go to vote and don’t realize that the high speed train they all wanted that was on the ballot is actually an amendment to the constitution… does it really belong on there?
They also don’t realize that voting for say… no smoking in restaurants and bars is actually voting to take away the rights of a business owner to determine what he can and can not do with his business. They disguise it by saying it gives the non smokers the right to breath clean air. That’s a misnomer, they have always had the right to breath clean air, they have the freedom of choice to eat where ever they’d like. If a restaurant doesn’t allow smoking it will gain certain clientèle and loose others. If the situation were reversed and the government mandated that all restaurants allow smoking, people would be up in arms. It’s the same thing in either case; tyranny.
Sorry for the long example but it illustrates the point of people voting with personal preference not by what was laid out in the Constitution of the United States.
Sex in video games is the same thing. You have the typical American sheeple who believe sex is bad but violence is ok for teens. I’m not really sure how that works but ok… Unfortunately these sheeple are part of the majority; the older crowd who wasn’t exposed to video games at a young age. They don’t play video games, their kids do. So they don’t see how sex should be allowed in video games. So if they don’t need it, there should obviously be laws against it. The sheeple are too nearsighted to see past their own needs and wants. They prefer instead to prevent anything they don’t want to be exposed to at all from ever happening.
It doesn’t apply to music and movies because they all like music and movies. You can’t disallow that content from things they like, that would just be a violation of their rights!
It’s a ridiculous paradox but I truly believe we’re on a natural path to correct this. Younger generations are becoming more tolerant of each other. I hear a lot more, “as long as it doesn’t harm anybody else” than the baby boomers ever expressed. These are the same people growing up with video games as a part of their lives. The same ones who are now having kids of their own and using video games to bond with their kids. The same ones who are in touch with the market and know what games are safe for their kids to play and which games aren’t. The ones that aren’t come out of the cabinet when the kids are asleep / away and go back in when the kids are home. The same adults who wouldn’t mind having sex in their video games because they know personal responsibility should play the biggest factor when selectively censoring what your own children are exposed to…
Yeah I could rant about this all day long but Imma stop here
Thanks for the space Aktrez 
Sex sells. Simple and to the point. There isn’t really a beer ad out there without some girl in it, and guys usually flock to bikini car washes like they’re going out of style (myself included).
Sex appeal’s never a bad thing, unless it’s used for a mischievious purpose. Even then, though, depends.
Sex is the most underrated thing on planet Earth. Give us heads flying off war and violence and we’re fine but oh no we can’t let our children see the work of art that is the female body. Nothing is made more beautifully and perfect than a woman and people look down on them for being proud of how beautiful they are. Last I heard we all had to get born somehow. Nice post Becky.
I agree entirely with The Shaman.
Remember when you hear a politician speak, that their first and foremost job is to get re-elected. So they will say thing to appeal to their constituency that actually votes in elections. Which no matter what people may want to portray is not America’s youth. It seems like every presidential election you hear about the effect the youth vote will have on the election and in the end, the youth don’t turn out like they expect. And I don’t see that changing anytime soon.
But their is hope, because eventually people like us will be in charge, that understand video games and technology, and through natural cultural evolution, society will become more tolerant of sex. And oh yeah, the youth still won’t be voting.
Reading all the replies to this intriguing story posited by Becky, I have to probably agree with Orion: gaming is unfortunately pegged as a “children’s pasttime” by many ignorant and semi-ignorant conservatives. They don’t realize that gaming can actually be a mature conduit that can evolve and adapt in a respectful manner much like media in movies, TV, and music. So opponents are at odds with all the sex and violence cause it wasn’t like “what Pong or Pac-man” used to be.” I mean, take the debacle of criticism that was the Mass Effect/SeXBox “controversy” if you call it that as a prime example. Two minutes of a vague yet artistic interpretation of a consensual and satisfying sexual encounter with a partner and Fox News is in an uproar that its “graphic sex and nudity.”
I also agree with one of the authors of Grand Theft Childhood (cannot remember her name ) - video games unfortunately is the current scapegoat of our generation with which conservatives target as being a prime cause of the degeneration of our youth today. I am optimistic the record will be set straight, even if it will take a while; after all, Rome wasn’t built in a day.
Oh, and to slightly correct Becky’s comment about Second Life (SL): using SL currency called Lindens, you indeed can buy naked avatars/shapes but ALL shapes/avatars are advertised by the SL vendors and designers located in mature/adults only areas in the nude, to display the designers’ attention to realistic detail. IMVU on the other hand, do sell naked avatars (at actual U.S. prices) separately from the normal avatars, as Becky has stated earlier.
I agree with DCD.
Sex isn’t a bad thing—like you said, Becky, it’s a natural part of life (and without it, duh, there would be no human life ;D ). But using sex in the wrong ways has nothing to do with tolerance or whether we’re behind other countries in viewing the human body as beautiful. It has to do with money; it can be bad especially because it teaches men wrong images of women (and makes women feel worse because we think we’re supposed to live up to those unrealistic expectations and images). It teaches them we all look one way, we all should act provocatively, and that we are just objects. Which is why big boobs in video games are not only ridiculously unrealistic, it’s pathetic and insulting.
The human body IS a beautiful thing, but there is a wrong way and a right way to enjoy that beauty.
From Custer’s Revenge to Hot Coffee.
When it comes to the subject of sex in video games, it interest me alot. So I have no problem with it. And what about the controversy behind GTA:SA’s Hot Coffee mod? We’re all adults here. Or Mass Effect? Anyone who thinks differently about the sex scene in Mass Effect, should Check out Sessler’s Soapbox.
I played video games since back in the day, and I don’t get offended by sex one bit. It’s not like girl gamers like Aktrez or Raychul would get offended after seeing clips of Sexy Beach 3 from Japan, or Virtually Jenna, or any other porn-related video game software. That’s just crap. We all have to stand up to any doubters that don’t think we’re mature to play any games that has a little, or a lot of sex in them.
And furthermore, I respect girl gamers 100%, and that’s straight from my own heart, so don’t judge me, or think different of me.
Great read and great video. I agree – sex is as natural as it gets – and for some reason it always causes a much bigger fuss than it should. Sure, I might not let my future kid play a game with superficial sexual acts that serve no greater purpose other than to be gratuitous, at least until they are old enough to make a decision on their own, but I firmly believe that sex – like violence, profanity and other adult themes – have a purpose in storytelling. I remember watching Schindler’s List as a kid. When my mom thought I was old enough, we sat down as a family and we all watched it. There was violence, nudity and some sexual elements, but even as a kid I recognized the worth in it. It was beautiful and horrible at the same time. When used appropriately and in context, sex-acts in media should not be a big deal.
Sure, sex is more often than not used for the afor mentioned gratuitous fun in games – which I have no problem with. Adults are entitled to all types of sexual content – from the artistic to the downright sleazy – both are natural. But as a culture we have to realize what a tremendous tool sex is in storytelling and self-expression. We need to lighten up and realize that as long as it is available to an appropriate audience, there should be no controversy. I can’t wait for the day that an artistic nude advertisement can be used in public without causing a commotion.
But men have crazy muscles and perfect bodies in video games as well. I wouldn’t WANT to play as an “average American female”. When I play a game … I want to get into my character and I want to be beautiful. It’s why we don’t want to watch TV personalities who are unattractive. It’s human nature.
I don’t have a perfect body. I strive for it every day and I dwell on it FAR more than I should but, it’s not the fault of those that do and it’s also not the fault of the game designers for placing beautiful images infront of us to play. I think that if they took all the video game characters and made them look more like we look - you would find a LOT of people would be unhappy.
I have to say that I agree with you in theory WITA, but in all honesty I very rarely see the result of media over-sexualization in my personal life. Disclaimer: I don’t mean that the effects don’t exist, all I am saying is that they have not manifested in my life thus far.
I think sometimes we don’t give men enough credit. I don’t know one guy in real life who expects their partner to look like a Barbie doll. I think they realize that real women don’t look like they do in video games. Sure, they stare and enjoy the view – which they have a right to do. God knows that one of the reasons I love The Darkness Comic or the movie 300 is because of the man-candy. I know it is not real, and I know that that physical form is nearly impossible to achieve, but I still enjoy looking. I would never project those standards on men in real life, and I don’t think that the majority of men project the media standards on us.
It never ceases to amaze me how much my husband loves my body, even when I hate it at times. I don’t have to be a size 2 or have blonde hair and DD breasts; he loves the way I look. Most of my guy friends have the same mentality. Sure, they enjoy looking at the girls in Playboy or at Lara Croft in her tight shirt, but they know that a beautiful body in real life beats some digital girl any day.
I can see that we might worry the media will teach young kids these idealistic standards, but our generation was exposed to almost as much sexual media as them, and we are turning out fine. My 2 cents!
I’ll leave this short and to the point: you’re not paying for the woman rubbing the xbox on her bare tummy. You aren’t buying the game with an OOH BONUS girl toy too! Tough luck. Boobs and a great butt can help sell an item or promote its maturity level. This is simply our horny human nature coming through..
Aktrez, great read. It’s all so true. Virtual Girl, you make some great points, and I have to agree, we’re turning out okay, and if anything I think our generation really does understand the difference between watching genetic lottery winners on movies and TV, but that regular everyday people are attractive and sexy in a far more enveloping way.
Rhyannon - Hot
Jessica Chobot - Hot
where’s my comment at?
here’s the second half:
3. This is the big one, interactivity. I think that the general public is most uncomfortable with the idea that games let you “act out” some of these acts. Take the Mass Effect flap. It seemed like much of the criticism was phrased to emphasize the fact that the player could “choose” to do all this crazy sex. And that the player “takes part” in rape etc.
There is something about interactivity that makes people uncomfortable.
like it’s somehow less harmful for people to watch violent movies than it is for them to play violent games, because the interaction somehow trains or conditions them. The same goes for sex. I mean even I have to say that it’d be one thing to watch a movie about a sexually aggressive deviant than it would to actually play a game where I was behaving like a sexually aggressive deviant. Even if I know that I can tell the difference between right and wrong. the “free will” or “choice” aspect is a very powerful element of gaming that can not be underestimated.
In the end though it is basically our right to enjoy media that we pay for. If I want to play a bunch of deviant sex sims…or even if I just want to play a game that has mature themes of romance and love…then I have a right to do so without being legislated and persecuted for doing so
I disagree Aktrez. There’s many games with male leads that don’t have perfect bodies. For example the lead character in ICO & Shadow of the Colossus. Gordon Freeman in HL2. Niko in GTAIV. Many games let you create your own characters as well. I think we’re passed the hunky male leads. As for females. Beyond Good and Evil had an average looking female. Not all girls in games have perfect bodies.
(Note, I think I have to break this up into two comments…)
Well, here comes Danny Downer to rain on a bit of the parade…
“If my history knowledge hasn’t failed me (and remember, it’s been 10 years since I was in history class so this very well could be the case) I believe we LEFT England because the Catholic church was taxing us, was too prude and wanted to control everything we did.”
Well, first off, we’d be talking about people escaping the Church of England, not the Catholic Church. Catholicism was pretty much run out of England after Henry VIII couldn’t divorce his wife with the pope’s blessing, so England basically seceded from the Church.
Second off, it had nothing to do with prude or not prude. It was about religious freedom and the ability to worship as you would, not having to follow the Church of England, the established church of the land.
Thirdly, the Pilgrims were Puritans. Some of their congregations didn’t let women speak in church. I don’t think they’re really the bastions of sexual liberation you would hope to portray the early settlers as.
I would say most of the taxation and control issues we had with the monarchs outside of religious freedom were issues for the Founding Fathers, most of which were that we didn’t want to be taxed without being represented in Parliament. Again, pretty much everyone back then agreed that sex was to be kept in private, not to be publicized.
NOW, as for the remainder and comments section! (BTW, this is going to be just me railing on media in general. If we’re saying gaming is unfairly compared to those other media, then I would agree. Games have no reason why they can’t be just as trashy as TV, music or movies. I honestly don’t put any special weight on video games making people more or less hyper-sexual than those other forms of media and I don’t think people should.)
I do not disagree with you that America has an issue with sex and sexuality. However, the examples you used (9 year olds singing ‘My Humps’, Bratz dolls) are all examples of tittilation and not really the type of sexuality that I would encourage either for our young ones nor for our society as a whole. It’s not that sex is a shameful act or anything. But I would hesitate to say that a society that willingly flaunts its sexuality is a healthy one, especially when it is used simply for marketing purposes, like the examples above. Having ‘My Humps’ be a song that everyone knows isn’t something I would say proudly displays the best of the human spirit. It is base, instinctual marketing that shows us some dreamed up fantasy and wants our money for it.
Crap, now I can’t figure out how to post the rest of my thoughts. DAMMIT!
(Let’s try small chunks then!)
Again, you posed the question: what is wrong with being sexy? Absolutely nothing. I will agree with you on the fact that those pictures of gaming girls are hot. They are beautiful women juxtaposed with video games. Nothing wrong with it in the context of our vapid society and it’s on par with most marketing campaigns out there that use sex to sell. But there is a difference between something being naturally sexy (like these women and yourself are) and being intentionally provocative in an erotic way to market.
In my eyes, we as people are looking for both emotional and physical gratification with others. When we’re lucky, we find one special person to share both. But I have a real issue with the glorification of sex when it’s purely for physical (in this case, visual) gratification pleasure to achieve a marketing goal.
While our marketing wizards fill us with images and sounds meant to excite, we need to be taught or reminded of the emotional impact of sexuality and sex, and without that being achieved (bad parenting FTL), I don’t think the sexualization of our culture is a positive thing, at least not the sexualization of children. It’s an adult subject and should be treated as such.
Well, I had more, but WordPress doesn’t like me talking too much apparently…
I agree with you Skiptastic (and again, my apologize for the history lesson gone ary. )
I don’t believe that sex for the sake of sex is a good thing. I do, however, believe that sex used in a realistic gaming situation DOES make sense. I mean, come on, GTA is an adults game. There is violence and foul language and everything else. I dont’ feel that the Hot Coffee should have been a mod. I believe it should have played a part in that adult game. I believe SIMS does a good job in having to romance someone and take it to that level. Now, Sims was always more marketed toward kids so, I’m torn on how appropriate THAT is.
That being said, I think including sexuality in our adult games IS appropriate and healthy. Again, I also state that sexy men/women who are artistic in our community should also be praised and not persecuted for taking these types of pictures.
Thank you for your thoughts!
Oh, and I’m a total hypocrite, I like watching movies with good looking women and watch porn and all that jazz, but I’m not blind to the fact that those things do not satisfy an emotional void in my life. When I spend time with my girlfriend, then I start to feel the emotional gratification and it’s a whole hell of a lot more satisfying than the simple physical side.
I guess, after all that nonsense, what I’m trying to say is that we have created a society where the free access of all varieties of information (including porn, adult subjects, violence, etc.) has become available to everyone, including children. It’s not that these things weren’t around 50 years ago (I’m pretty sure sex has been around for much longer lol) but back fifty years ago, it was more important to the adults in the society to create a public environment where children were safe to be children, away from those adult subjects. It seems to me that today, adults are more worried about gratifying their own needs. I would agree that parents need to raise their children with the proper morals and values, but shouldn’t we as a society also have the obligation to help those parents by creating a clean, safe environment for kids?
So, in other words, those pictures are no worse than any movie or music sexual stuff, but I’m not a fan of that slide towards sexualization in the mass market. Hell, if you wanna go out to a bar or any other adult place, then look sexy! But dressing like a whore out in public is not my idea of positive sexuality. If that makes me a prude, so be it. Oh, and no legislation. Moral legislation is the tool of those who cannot win over those with persuasion. It’s another form of fascism.
I cannot agree with those two arguments. Adult games should have adult situations, and what do you know? Sex is an adult situation! :O Shock!
And you’re right, nobody should be persecuted in the community for such things. It goes back to the whole thing you’ve talked about before about being sexy and being a gamer, so I won’t rehash those arguments, other than saying that these pictures are all on the internet, and you’re going to get that stuff on the internet. It’s where the anonymous heap vile comments on the beautiful from their glowing caves of sorrowful desperation.
It’s probably for the best that my comments got axed, I was going off on a tanget that wasn’t on either of those two topics, which you are right on the money.
Sorry, meant to say “cannot DISagree”!
I fail to see sex as significant content in video games. How many of you had your purchasing decision of a video game influenced by the ESRB rating?
I’d sooner get a boner watching Telemundo than playing a video game, and I PAY to play video games.
I don’t think it’s a matter of getting off on the sexuality in games. I think it’s more of a matter of … if you’re going to have realistic life situations that sex should be included. Case in point: the Hot coffee incident. The whole game is about trying to have sex with girls and strip clubs and what not…. so, why not go all the way then and make it a mini game?! more so, why cry about the fact that sex is present in games like this? I believe it adds reality to the storyline.
I just thought that it was a very moving comment by VirtualGirl about her husband and his love of healthy body types
He has got a good head on his shoulders and I agree with his thoughts about appearance
Thank you VirtualGirl for sharing that with us
None of us have a perfect body and we have to just focus on being healthy and accept our appearance and how our appearance may change as we grow older
That would be a WONDERFUL world if everyone felt like that, Anthony. Unfortunately, if you are in the eye of the public or in the media than that is not the case. Any little weight you have on you is picked apart and scrutinized ruthlessly
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